Technology and attachment

I wish I could go back to the way I felt when my boyfriend and I first started talking. I didn’t care what he was doing or why he didn’t text me, and I didn’t have to tell myself not to care. I just didn’t. Now, I feel like I’m constantly worried about why he’s not texting me back, and it makes me unhealthily attached to my phone which I hate. I cannot even tell you how many times I’ve tried a technology detox and it NEVER works. I’ve tried deleting social media apps, turning my phone off, leaving my phone at home. I’ve tried distracting myself with reading, or even when I’m at the beach or amusement park, I hate the fact that I always feel the need to check my phone. Like I HATE it with a burning passion. I wish I didn’t care. I think I just like knowing that someone wants to talk to me, and cares what I’m doing. But I wasn’t like that before my boyfriend. I didn’t really have anyone to talk to on a day to day basis so I didn’t really check my phone often. I want to get back to that because I feel like it has become such a stress in my life and the reason for so many fights between my boyfriend and I. I always tell myself I’m not gonna bring my phone somewhere and I won’t, but then as soon as I get home, the FIRST THING I DO is check it. And during the time I’m without it, I’m constantly thinking about it. It’s disgusting that I’ve let it get like this. I don’t need it and I need to remind myself that. I need to do a real phone detox and make myself conscious of when I get stressed over something technology related. Wish me luck.

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