Currently my boyfriend and I are fighting about money. The whole time we’ve lives at our apartment, I’ve paid between $100-$300 dollars a month for rent. A few months ago I was paying $200 and my boyfriend wasn’t making good money at work so he asked if I could help out more so I did. I paid $300 that month and I’ve been paying that ever since. Mind you on top of rent, I have to pay for my car, car insurance, phone payment, student loans, and all other living expenses like groceries and gas, and this is all while I’m going to school full-time and keeping an A/B average in school. He also wanted me to have time to spend together, so I’ve had to work enough so that I can pay my bills, but not so much that my grades slip and I don’t have time to spend with him. For a while it was fine, but lately work has been really slow (I’m a server so money is rarely consistent). I’ve already stressed to him how broke I am and I’m clearly already stressed out about it, saying hopefully work picks up soon.
So this morning, he decides to start off the day by telling me that he did out his finances this morning and in order for him to be where he wants to be financially, I need to pitch in even more money. Now, I know I don’t pay an equal amount of rent as it is, but I am already broke, headed into the slower season at work, and he’s spent the last two weeks blowing money on dumb shit like video games, and headed into his busy season where he will make awesome money. So why all the sudden do I need to pitch in even more? We’re trying to save money to move to Florida, and I already haven’t been able to put money into my savings for that for like a month… Initially I was really irritated because he literally dropped this on my right when I woke up, so yeah that kinda started my day on a bad note. When I finally calmed down and was thinking clearly, I explained my frustrations to him about it, and he just blew it off and gets an attitude with me. He then proceeds to tell me that “if money is that tight maybe next time you should rethink a vacation.” Oh, you mean the vacation I worked my ass off to save up for? The one where I got to see my best friend who I haven’t seen in almost a year? The one that I deserved for working so hard all school year? God forbid I do something for myself, right?
Then he starts bringing irrelevant shit into it like “you didn’t want a joint savings account with me so that shows how you feel about us” blah blah blah… Yes, thats right, and THIS is why. We are still arguing about money so why would I want my money mixed up in yours? Then I get so fucking mad I basically tell him fine, I’ll pay for all my own shit now. I’m going to pay equal rent, and for all my food and everything. Don’t bother spending your money on me anymore because its yours and you have to worry about yourself. Then I point out that this is going to require me to open up my availability at work and work more. Then all hell breaks loose and he freaks out telling me that I better not do that and basically threatens me about it. Like, WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT EXTRA MONEY GOING TO COME FROM, THIN FUCKING AIR? He doesn’t think about the situation I’m in, just his. I have no money and he already knew that so I don’t know why he got so upset when I tell him thats going to require me working a lot more… Like no fucking shit.
I’m so frustrated with this whole situation. Now he’s being all “don’t worry about it just pay $200 and I’ll take care of the rest it’s fine.” How could I do that now? Now I know it bothers him and it’s a problem, so I’m not just going to throw in $200 and sit back. I’ll always know now that this is a problem for him, and then it makes it a problems for me. I’m done discussing my finances with him. I’m going to pick up extra shifts at work whether he likes it or not, I’m going to pay and equal amount of rent, utilities and internet, I’m going to pay for my own food, and he can get the fuck over it. I’m tired of him low-key holding this shit over my head. I’m not going to continue to live like that…